Frozen in Motion; This ones for you

The words on the page are all i can offer you.
The wind is dragging me in every direction it can Fathom.
Splitting myself in 2 would be ideal but its horribly unrealistic.
I made a fucking decision, guessing i made the wrong one, right...?
The end is Nigh, this era is over and the new one is hiding. Im not ready for this
Loosing out and loosing you are all im worried about,
I dont want to be afraid,
The ones to please are 10 to the pound...

Nothing lasts forever, Look at the boys they cant even share an article let alone a stage,
how the fuck are we to manage.

Im not finding the answers to anything at the bottom of this Glass, just like i know their not hiding under your bed or writhing under my boots, their not going to come in the pockets of army jackets or at the end of any black and grey rainbow.
Im breaking hearts and Im Loosing the energy to keep putting up this fight.
The world outside my window leaves me speachless, my world behind closed doors is crumbling.

Hold me up, Dont Drag me Down.

"stay clean for me, stay Healthy and stay Happy, I'll watch the clock and count the days. I cant wait to see you at the gate, whats happened has happened look at the future its fucking technicolour. Just trust me Please"

Im sorry if i let you down, just dont expect too much and you wont get disapointed.
ilysfm

Growing Pangs

I'm like a house built of matches positioned on the tip of the white cliffs of Dover.

Pretty much every ounce of stability has left my life, even my bodys decided to turn against me.
Ive never thought id say it but im craving stability...and i miss coming home to a house full of people.
I dont even know where im staying next week let alone what uni i want to go to.
Im having issues even deciding on whether im even going to get out of bed of an afternoon.
i cant even commit to a healthy nicotine/drink habit.
Ive lost my mother, my best mate, my little brothers, my stability and what feels like everything else in one fail swoop, their only 200 miles away but to write the words Two hundred miles makes me want to curl up in a ball and cry.
Coping with anything at ALL it murder quite actually today in fact i was face with a life changing decision of whether to leave the pub and come home or not... FUCK WHAT A DILEMMA
how the hell is one such as this supposed to live on my own.
I have to grow up and i shitting bricks my brains going
~ "AHH FUCK SHIT AHHH BASTARD CUNT WHORE SLAG WHORE" ~
I cant deal with it, ive just started on my break down, i feel as if im pushing everyone away
which i am.. i just need to be on my own alot at the moment but im avoiding even aproaching entertaining thinking about anything.
The I count on this post is through the roof... Not caring, Not Caring Not Caring LALALALA.
Ive never felt so alone, this is awful. The water works are fast aproaching.
I dont want to grow up i dont want to leave the nest.
Im always to be a child. I have Pink hair

Mountains, Hills and Peeks, Valleys and Tower Blocks

There's a House in south wales that's taking precedence over something you would think a woman would never let get behind
There's a life in south wales that is a haven, somewhere for the woman to run to.
"Its all going to be so much better"
That's impossible as your going to be there, ever wondered why everything you've ever done has gone wrong
ill tell you why for nothing, this piece of profound information comes for free.
Its because your there.
The same woman has dragged the girl through all of her shit leaving her grown up and alone. Stunted her growth by making her clean the woman's wounds and sweep up the broken glass, hold her when she couldn't stand.
Now that's all changed, the monster from within the both of their lives has gone leaving a gaping hole in the wall, now all who pass can see straight through them.
A decision has been made not a joint one but a decision none the less, She all grown up and horror free the woman has decided that she no longer needs the girl all she needs is a clean break.
Shattering the girls world into thousands of pieces and taking it all away.
Now the girl cant stand and there's no one there to catch her before she falls. There's no one there to answer her cries and there's no one there to sweep up her tears of glass

"We're gonna die, Clyde, me and you, we'll get gunned down like dogs, but it's okay cos I was fucking dying anyway."

There's three of us in this bed, all caught up in this twisted triangle, each so hung up on their own shit that theres nothing else to do but let it all fall into place.

temptation has been turned into a reality and one thats allowed 100% and its fun right?

just now i cant be bothered with any of this stuff like now its allowed its no fun, well it is just not how it used to be.

Functioning like some kind of fucked up family... all kinks included
"I don't care what u think as long its about me"
god the only thing im letting rule my world is my bladder. the grip on the handbrake is loosening but im still not giving up with out a fight. im kicking out at the world and hoping i crash yours in the meantime

a past summer regression gone wrong

Its so fucking dark again, the night and the silence are trying to steal me

max went home, he had one to go to where someone loved him best of all,

Morrissey couldnt because it wasnt his home anymore.

im more of the second then the first.

when blogs crash so do the dams of my writers block and the thoughts come flooding in.

the tides wont stop turning even to catch your tears.

This beds aching for second to fill up the space thats been occupied so many times over

dont let the wind catch you saying anything, come on bathroom girl

pull the curtains and turn on the water, wash the pain off and carry on dreaming

I know this hurts, it was ment to

Freeze it, can it and keep it. its amazing
Buzzy and beautiful
Fuck it, Blind to everything but the exhilaration.
Fuck it
Fuck it
I could live of this feeling, screaming because you know its got to end but hanging on
because you have to ride out every last bump of this ride
Tantric

Im happy but i stole someone elses, cant say fuck them as much as i want to
all my eggs are in one basket but im going vegan anyway

Scoring Skin (Were Just too old for brownie points)

Lumps in a throat real and actual although fleeting, it doesn’t stop the tears from brimming behind tired eyes, make up stains and Glances at the ceiling.
Change is stalking, at every corner and lurking behind the lamppost, the Ripper incarnate skulking in the London fog, sinister clicks; boot heels on the pavement coupled with the resonance of warm breath colliding with the deathly chill of the London streets. Feet hurrying to match hearts beats, trying and failing.
The wind delivers its final rights, flashes of sliver and the taste of metal.
One exact blow meticulously executed, a job half done?
Another coupling this one slightly more distressing the bitter cold of a Knife in your back and the warmth of the blood that trickles from the wound like a brook of pain anguish and hate, all righted with a resounding indifference.
Maybe.

This city is engrained on every move I make. Its in my blood and under my nails.
I’m completely head over heels in love with this big dirty place. Its can take you up so high and leave you down so low it’s amazing and scary. The tourist and the natives, the young and the old.
Being here means I can be myself I can, live here accustomed to all things that make me, me. Taking the girl out of the city is like telling the pope to convert to Islam. It would rip my heart out. I’m too fast for the sleepy eyes towns of south Wales, they keep the lights on all night here. I sleep all day and party all night I don’t sit in parts in kappa tracksuits and drink cider, I drop acid and drink absinth and wake up in the gutter ready to do it all again Baglan park isn’t my future its not even worthy of being my past. This isn’t a pipe dream this is my life. So fuck her, fuck her and her sheep farm and her husband and her perfect little rural life with jazz festivals and off-roading. Id rather live in the real world fuck it. No one who matters lives in Baglan.
My mates, who the fuck am I without them. Tear it up parties and Mini orgies with people who are quite willing to go shopping the next day.


Please dont turn my lights off