First post, The post that hurts the most

Time is like insane.
This blog is of no substance.
Grayson perry = Love <3
I Scribbled some junk, on the back of a bit of paper.
I'll find it and insert pesimistic bullshit, right now ive got a case of the serious CBAs.
Later happens.

Fucking Deprivation

Ive just realised that i had more hugs in the week i spent at my mam's then Ive had in the 3 months shes been gone.
I think that is one of the thing i miss more then anything.

Logan's Birthday.

13/11/2008

This is the last time I come down here for a long time, mark my words.
I won’t be distressing her precious fucking sofa for more then another night.
I sincerely hope that she realises that this will be one of the last times I see her this year. Maybe even the last. I’m sick of running around trying to keep everyone happy over mother fucking Christmas. First and foremost I fucking hate it and if I spend it in bed then so the fuck what and furthermore I’m not the bad guy in this I didn’t move 200 miles away for a bloke, no I was the one that went no where and still had to try and retain normality and stability. Resentful of me just because I wouldn’t drop my entire life just to have a slice of her dream, which is all bullshit anyway? She’s got no job, no money and hardly anything to do but yet she’s apparently happy. And I’m the bad one for staying in that London, with my school my friends and my life. Yeah I hardly think so.

I’m just so fucking sick of it and I want to go home, where I can sleep in a bed and WALK to a shop if I run out of milk at 1 in the morning. I miss my friends and school and people I miss them most of all. This shit hole isn’t for me in anyway shape or form, I’m from the city and I don’t think that’s ever going to change.
There’s no place for me here and I’m glad they can fucking dream on if they think I’m moving to this shit hole, yeah right mate. I’d rather be sick on my pretty shoes. Repeatedly.

Whatev’s init, I’m doing one tomorrow and it can’t come soon enough.


NOTE:
When I left i had to bite my tounge to stop myself from crying.

waiting for....

(1 Item remaining)

kicking it cold skool

Making mistakes im doing it to the best of my ability.
Falling out, in & over frequently
connections run so low, tripping.
hearts x10, so fucking freezing & your so far away.
rootin tootin relapse
relax
I cant stalk you from here
it just aint the same.
fuck it, i know how i feel.
like i want new boots

DRUNK


I am it.

it's a faithless world and I need saving

I'm a slag I'm a slut I'm a tramp I'm a tart
I'm a twat I'm a bag I'm a cunt I'm a shag
I'm a slag I'm a slut I'm a tramp I'm a tart
I'm a twat I'm a bag I'm a cunt I'm a shag
I'm a slag I'm a slut I'm a tramp I'm a tart
I'm a twat I'm a bag I'm a cunt I'm a shag
I'm a slag I'm a slut I'm a tramp I'm a tart
I'm a twat I'm a bag I'm a cunt I'm a shag
I'm a slag I'm a slut I'm a tramp I'm a tart
I'm a twat I'm a bag I'm a cunt I'm a shag
I'm a slag I'm a slut I'm a tramp I'm a tart



I feel dirty.

Dont Fuck up

I hate the way i am i dont know why im like this i just always have been.
I do these things I hate, but at the time they seem justified.
I do things and say things and Hurt people
Not even for personal gain just because i can
Im always on the verge of destroying everything
like selfharm but over my entire life someone called it "self-sabotage"
Im always about to stomp all over anything ive worked hard for or anything ive got
I keep Fucking it up.
I cant trust myself with anything, ever.
I worry that i might say or do something one day that will get me in so much trouble it cant be fixed.
Im negativly impulsive, beyond the childish you say no i say yes.