Retrospect

It scares me how angry and hurt I was in the last post, but that's exactly what i was; angry and hurt.

I was out of control mentally, I feel better now more in control but not totally.

I'm on the edge of losing it but i've got the ability to hold on for a little bit.
Alot of me want to drink gin and wallow but i know i can't, mostly just scared.

Scared little girl. Scared & well Scared. I do just want to get out of my head but i passed on it tonight because i had to prioritise.

I fucking love being a waster but i want to do something i can be proud of.

Goodfucking luck to me.

Frozen in Motion; This ones for you

The words on the page are all i can offer you.
The wind is dragging me in every direction it can Fathom.
Splitting myself in 2 would be ideal but its horribly unrealistic.
I made a fucking decision, guessing i made the wrong one, right...?
The end is Nigh, this era is over and the new one is hiding. Im not ready for this
Loosing out and loosing you are all im worried about,
I dont want to be afraid,
The ones to please are 10 to the pound...

Nothing lasts forever, Look at the boys they cant even share an article let alone a stage,
how the fuck are we to manage.

Im not finding the answers to anything at the bottom of this Glass, just like i know their not hiding under your bed or writhing under my boots, their not going to come in the pockets of army jackets or at the end of any black and grey rainbow.
Im breaking hearts and Im Loosing the energy to keep putting up this fight.
The world outside my window leaves me speachless, my world behind closed doors is crumbling.

Hold me up, Dont Drag me Down.

"stay clean for me, stay Healthy and stay Happy, I'll watch the clock and count the days. I cant wait to see you at the gate, whats happened has happened look at the future its fucking technicolour. Just trust me Please"

Im sorry if i let you down, just dont expect too much and you wont get disapointed.
ilysfm