The words on the page are all i can offer you.
The wind is dragging me in every direction it can Fathom.
Splitting myself in 2 would be ideal but its horribly unrealistic.
I made a fucking decision, guessing i made the wrong one, right...?
The end is Nigh, this era is over and the new one is hiding. Im not ready for this
Loosing out and loosing you are all im worried about,
I dont want to be afraid,
The ones to please are 10 to the pound...
Nothing lasts forever, Look at the boys they cant even share an article let alone a stage,
how the fuck are we to manage.
Im not finding the answers to anything at the bottom of this Glass, just like i know their not hiding under your bed or writhing under my boots, their not going to come in the pockets of army jackets or at the end of any black and grey rainbow.
Im breaking hearts and Im Loosing the energy to keep putting up this fight.
The world outside my window leaves me speachless, my world behind closed doors is crumbling.
Hold me up, Dont Drag me Down.
"stay clean for me, stay Healthy and stay Happy, I'll watch the clock and count the days. I cant wait to see you at the gate, whats happened has happened look at the future its fucking technicolour. Just trust me Please"
Im sorry if i let you down, just dont expect too much and you wont get disapointed.
ilysfm
Friday 18 July 2008
Friday 11 July 2008
Growing Pangs
I'm like a house built of matches positioned on the tip of the white cliffs of Dover.
Pretty much every ounce of stability has left my life, even my bodys decided to turn against me.
Ive never thought id say it but im craving stability...and i miss coming home to a house full of people.
I dont even know where im staying next week let alone what uni i want to go to.
Im having issues even deciding on whether im even going to get out of bed of an afternoon.
i cant even commit to a healthy nicotine/drink habit.
Ive lost my mother, my best mate, my little brothers, my stability and what feels like everything else in one fail swoop, their only 200 miles away but to write the words Two hundred miles makes me want to curl up in a ball and cry.
Coping with anything at ALL it murder quite actually today in fact i was face with a life changing decision of whether to leave the pub and come home or not... FUCK WHAT A DILEMMA
how the hell is one such as this supposed to live on my own.
I have to grow up and i shitting bricks my brains going
~ "AHH FUCK SHIT AHHH BASTARD CUNT WHORE SLAG WHORE" ~
I cant deal with it, ive just started on my break down, i feel as if im pushing everyone away
which i am.. i just need to be on my own alot at the moment but im avoiding even aproaching entertaining thinking about anything.
The I count on this post is through the roof... Not caring, Not Caring Not Caring LALALALA.
Ive never felt so alone, this is awful. The water works are fast aproaching.
I dont want to grow up i dont want to leave the nest.
Im always to be a child. I have Pink hair
Pretty much every ounce of stability has left my life, even my bodys decided to turn against me.
Ive never thought id say it but im craving stability...and i miss coming home to a house full of people.
I dont even know where im staying next week let alone what uni i want to go to.
Im having issues even deciding on whether im even going to get out of bed of an afternoon.
i cant even commit to a healthy nicotine/drink habit.
Ive lost my mother, my best mate, my little brothers, my stability and what feels like everything else in one fail swoop, their only 200 miles away but to write the words Two hundred miles makes me want to curl up in a ball and cry.
Coping with anything at ALL it murder quite actually today in fact i was face with a life changing decision of whether to leave the pub and come home or not... FUCK WHAT A DILEMMA
how the hell is one such as this supposed to live on my own.
I have to grow up and i shitting bricks my brains going
~ "AHH FUCK SHIT AHHH BASTARD CUNT WHORE SLAG WHORE" ~
I cant deal with it, ive just started on my break down, i feel as if im pushing everyone away
which i am.. i just need to be on my own alot at the moment but im avoiding even aproaching entertaining thinking about anything.
The I count on this post is through the roof... Not caring, Not Caring Not Caring LALALALA.
Ive never felt so alone, this is awful. The water works are fast aproaching.
I dont want to grow up i dont want to leave the nest.
Im always to be a child. I have Pink hair
Tuesday 8 July 2008
Mountains, Hills and Peeks, Valleys and Tower Blocks
There's a House in south wales that's taking precedence over something you would think a woman would never let get behind
There's a life in south wales that is a haven, somewhere for the woman to run to.
"Its all going to be so much better"
That's impossible as your going to be there, ever wondered why everything you've ever done has gone wrong
ill tell you why for nothing, this piece of profound information comes for free.
Its because your there.
The same woman has dragged the girl through all of her shit leaving her grown up and alone. Stunted her growth by making her clean the woman's wounds and sweep up the broken glass, hold her when she couldn't stand.
Now that's all changed, the monster from within the both of their lives has gone leaving a gaping hole in the wall, now all who pass can see straight through them.
A decision has been made not a joint one but a decision none the less, She all grown up and horror free the woman has decided that she no longer needs the girl all she needs is a clean break.
Shattering the girls world into thousands of pieces and taking it all away.
Now the girl cant stand and there's no one there to catch her before she falls. There's no one there to answer her cries and there's no one there to sweep up her tears of glass
There's a life in south wales that is a haven, somewhere for the woman to run to.
"Its all going to be so much better"
That's impossible as your going to be there, ever wondered why everything you've ever done has gone wrong
ill tell you why for nothing, this piece of profound information comes for free.
Its because your there.
The same woman has dragged the girl through all of her shit leaving her grown up and alone. Stunted her growth by making her clean the woman's wounds and sweep up the broken glass, hold her when she couldn't stand.
Now that's all changed, the monster from within the both of their lives has gone leaving a gaping hole in the wall, now all who pass can see straight through them.
A decision has been made not a joint one but a decision none the less, She all grown up and horror free the woman has decided that she no longer needs the girl all she needs is a clean break.
Shattering the girls world into thousands of pieces and taking it all away.
Now the girl cant stand and there's no one there to catch her before she falls. There's no one there to answer her cries and there's no one there to sweep up her tears of glass
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