Living for those random fights and the smiles that come with

what the arse is wrong with me, I'm so fucked up i feel so sick.
I have no idea what I'm getting myself into and i don't care really. I just want what i want and i don't know if I'm willing 2 put the work in.
I'm just shit. All of a sudden its gone a dark. its like I'm on a Sinking ship and i just don't really want to run off to be saved id rather sit on my arse and drown and then maybe it would be over at last. Its never going to stop. No amount of F.TV or Thins can help its never going to stop going in and going on i just don't really have any amount of faith in anything any more.

I honestly am Dead Inside and make up does so well to cover up the cracks that reveal the truth
Nothing feels Right anymore, Its all just Left. My stomach is hurting because i spent X amount of hours making up for a day of indulgence and then ate some curry and was upset because it hurt wen i tried to get rid. I hate the Fact that its Like a Bottomless Pit.
Itunes is on random so I'm jamming 2 sum seriously old/Random songs i forgot about.
The Guilt is so bad right now, on off topic i know that if i go to bed now i wont be up till 3 or 4 and then she's going be all pissed with me, Oh well.
I dont CARE anymore ive given up on it ALL or thats how it feels right now

The amount of time one person can used the works I, I'm and Going is amazing.