bob skeleton

So I'm here again back in the real world the place i try to avoid so readily.
Everything i do now only relates to myself. I have to/want to Put myself first why. Because noone else is worth my time.
Harry Potter, the book seems like its never going to end but i flicked through the end and i think i know what happens. I hate guessing and being wrong. My Tan is first and foremost my main priority I'm yes as well as everything else Tanorexic which makes me laugh. I throw myself in my garden with a week old copy of Kerrang and just bake like some form of beached whale.

My heart is in a state of disrepair and he doesn't give a shit that all the other "babes", "boo's" and Bitches rip out a little part of my soul already blackened and ruined with pessimism and disappointment. I love/hate you with every bone in my body.
I miss what ever mess it was i was in last year. so much less drama.
But we both decided without we would bet bored.
The talk over the last few days was of Pregnant girls and broken hearted mothers and well disowned sisters. none of it my problem but is at the same time.

Without me realising summer crept up on me and i welcomed it with open arms something about it makes me want to go home and make my mistakes on sand instead of concrete. they always seem better that way. But this year every thing's changed.
Ive got stories covering almost every inch of the lest side just because its not right or maybe I'm not.
this year I'm not letting a word slip play it cool and mysterious like a goth detective.
I may spend a few days in the dark wishing for the light but id rather do that then live in ignorance's and have no idea what it feels like to look into a mirror and only see mistakes and problems.

Ive been loved, I've been loathed but i enjoyed the latter. I'm not cut out to share anything and id rather do it all on my own but with someone holding my hand. classic contradiction I'm the Insecure First Born Daughter.

Ive lost my touch i started to feel. now I'm useless like a fat model.