Self Distruction is the only way to perfection

I had a fleating visit from Mia today, I think with time we could get to know eachother better. But for now bar any fuck ups on my part. we can leave each other alone and stick with my True friend... Who im not so true to.
Hahaha How bad does that sound.
Really very bad.
Its always hard and ive got to come to terms with this and discover my self restriction and CONTROL.

We talk but i dont think its her that i speak to, its always someone else. for names sake i wont mention the one in question.

When i talk to her im in the same place and she always brings baggage that im not strong enough to carry on my own. and she only comes to town when I cant do it on my own and when she comes along with her baggage she brings master plans and blueprints with pictures for visualisation and distruction.
You'd love her shes well pure evil. and im oh so very proud... Pride is never someting i have a problem with

im floating around a mark and because i am it just makes it easier to think of reaching my mtgw
which is 130 and atm im at well not 130 i think i was 170 but thats no too bade seeing as my Lt gw is 108 haha like thats ever going to happen right now it looks miles away but the day i can say it is the day i can be honestly happy.
and thats someting i cant wait for.
True and REAL happyness, but for now i'll keep myself happy with my girls surrounding me even though it gets really lonley sometimes.

Hopes and Kisses