"I'm done with this shit"

EDIT.

I've gotten really good at putting on a brave face because this time, I'm really done with this shit.

Retrospect

It scares me how angry and hurt I was in the last post, but that's exactly what i was; angry and hurt.

I was out of control mentally, I feel better now more in control but not totally.

I'm on the edge of losing it but i've got the ability to hold on for a little bit.
Alot of me want to drink gin and wallow but i know i can't, mostly just scared.

Scared little girl. Scared & well Scared. I do just want to get out of my head but i passed on it tonight because i had to prioritise.

I fucking love being a waster but i want to do something i can be proud of.

Goodfucking luck to me.

In a more clear and concise way.

The Libertines reunion has failed to make me smile.
My mind is stuck on one thing;
I want to spend all my money on gin and razor blades.
I don't think I even have the energy to go to morrissey.

I've misplaced my will to live.

I hope my mothers fucking holiday with her fucking cunt goes horrificly. i hope he beats the shit out of her. I hope logan tells Nigel when he comes back.

I hope she looses everything good in her life because thats what she deserves.
I can make that happen.
I might because to be honest i don't give a shit about the backlash.

I don't even care about the people I'd leave behind.

Fuck all this fucking shit

I've Given up, I've just fucking given up.

I've had enough and i don't care anymore. I'm done with waiting around.

I feel like I'm drowning. I don't have the energy to fight anymore.







help

My biggest secret...

I can't be helped

London? What is London? Is there bacon?

My brain's too fucked to function properly, seriously it's like I'm running on empty any time I leave the house.

I've been withdrawn from the only exam i was doing which now means going back to LDN just ain't gonna happen. I don't know how to tell people that I'm leaving. I need to do whats best for me atm. I feel bad, ever so bad.

GUILT IS A BITCH.

Penny for your thoughts & a bottle of Martini for the hill.

It's one and the same.